The history of periods or how vagina’s can destroy the world

Periods have always been somewhat taboo. Roman philosopher and naturalist, Pliny The Elder declared that menstrual blood would:

‘Turn new wine sour, crops touched by it become barren, grafts die, seed in gardens are dried up, the fruit of trees fall off’…’and a horrible smell fills the air. To taste it drives dogs mad and infects their bites with an incurable poison.’

pliny_the_elder
Pliny The Elder, a barrel of laughs 

Aside from turning menstruating women into the subject of John Carpenters next film, Pliny also had ideas on how women could put their malevolent menstrual cycle to good work.

His genius plan? Position naked women in farms and gardens during their periods to deter insects, rats and other pests from eating crops.

eye roll gif
Yup, sounds legit 

But it wasn’t just Pliny who had ideas on the menstrual cycle:

Periods will destroy everything

Right up until fairly recently women on their periods were warned to stay away from many things.

In 19th century England women were not allowed to churn butter or salt ham when on their periods incase it tainted the meat and curdled the butter.

Similarly, in France, factory girls were banned from sugar factory floors during their time of the month, incase it turned the sweet stuff bitter.

By the 1920’s there was real debate in the science community on the subject of ‘menotoxins’ (the ‘fumes’ given off by menstruation) and whether these menotoxins truly did churn butter, decay meat and cause sugar to turn bitter

Yup… these are basically the same views that Pliny had, but over 1000 years on and with a fancy new sciencey name. Progress!

thumbs up.gif
Great. No. Really…

One Dr Béla Schick undertook a test to definitively prove the existence of menotoxins. He had some flowers placed in a vase by a person not on their period and then some flowers put in another vase by a woman on her period.

The flowers that were handled by the menstruating woman wilted quicker and so Schick concluded that by merely touching an object, a woman on her period unleashed a damaging toxin.

This theory has (of course) now been disproved, but it still holds a special place in the hearts and minds of some people in the more er…sexist corners of the internet.

Bela Schick
BTW – Dr Schick also created the Schick Test, which helped work out if a person was susceptible to Diphtheria and saved countless lives. Maybe he should have concentrated more on that then the whole ‘tainted vaginas’ thing…just an idea

It was’t just science that wasn’t down with periods though. Religion also had an issue.

In fact, periods were thought to be so impure that the Catholic Church actually banned woman on their periods from taking Holy Communion until 1916.

And it wasn’t just God that didn’t want women’s tainted vaginas near him (or her… or it or…whatever):

No sex!

dont have sex

As already covered, it was a long held believe that women’s menstrual blood was pretty bloody dangerous and not fun to be around.

So naturally in medieval England it was believed that if a couple got it on whilst the woman was on her period then it would literally corrode the mans penis.

no no no
I repeat: Corrode the penis

If the man somehow got out of that situation unharmed then the belief was that any resulting child would be a monstrous and deformed creature; a direct result from the damaging menstrual blood drowning the sperm.

In fact a woman on her period was so toxic just sleeping in the same room as an expectant mother was thought to be enough to create a weak and *gasp* red haired child.

So, to recap: History has so far taught us that a women’s period can:

  1. Kill crops and destroy everything around it

  2. Fuck up unborn children

  3. Literally burn off a mans penis

So periods – what are they good for?

Telling you if you’re pregnant! duh

To be broad we know that generally women in history tended to be secondary to men and one of their primary goals was popping out kids (ideally boys).

So if your worth as a human is pretty much tied into you getting pregnant, then you’re gonna want some kind of system that lets you know when you are pregnant. And that’s where periods come in. Boom mic drop

Actually no…because:

Historically periods weren’t regular.

fuck sakes
I know. I’m sorry alright. 

Ok, again, broad brush strokes –but- if you lived between say the medieval period and the end of the Victorian era (and you weren’t rich) then chances are that your diet was not nutritionally balanced. Plus, if you worked then your hours were long and the stress factor of life was damn pretty high – these things do not a monthly period make.

This meant that a lot of women suffered false pregnancies.

Going through a long break between periods and experiencing some symptoms of pregnancies…only to have their periods rock up and their hopes dashed. We can find a lot of well documented incidents of this and the effect this then had on women’s statuses – Anne Boleyn is an excellent source for this, e.g. her 1534 pregnancy.

anne boleyn
Annie B

When Henry Vlll found out about this pregnancy he excitedly bought a new solid silver cradle (what every baby needs) and dispatches about the imminent royal birth were soon sent to other European leaders.

However within a few weeks all talk of a pregnancy suddenly stopped.

There was no miscarriage or stillborn, so it’s likely this was a false pregnancy. We can only imagine how upsetting this must have been for Anne and it’s easy to trace the huge effect this had on her status and the security of her position as Queen.

OK…so basically periods sucked. 

Was managing them at least less of a ball ache? 

Not really!

You see, sadly, there’s no concrete evidence that the Romans and Egyptians were early adopters of tampons (a factoid the internet loves!)

BUT we do know that throughout history a lot of women used rags when on the rag.

lol
F Yeah History – terrible dad jokes since 2017

Lots of woman used a belt/girdle like contraptions to suspend their rags (kind of like a super early form of 1950’s era ‘sanitary napkins’)

Queen Elizabeth l owned 3 black ‘vallopes of Holland cloth’ (no stains for Elizabeth!) which would have done this job.

However if you weren’t rich then you probably couldn’t afford a fancy period harness thing.

So you’d either have to think up an ingenious way of getting your rag to stay in place or just bleed through your clothes. Fun!

saracastic thumbs up gif .gif
Who doesn’t like bleeding over themselves all day? Am i right!?! 

Luckily, from the late 1880’s commercially available menstrual pads start to appear,

Sadly…once more they were pretty much exclusive to the well off.

But by the First World War nurses discovered that bandages actually absorbed their flow a lot better than rags or linens and had the added bonus of being disposable.

Soon after this we start to see a revolution in sanitary products – which comes at the same time as the belief that womens periods are toxic also starts to disappear.

Funny that.

Now tampons, towels, cups, whatever, are pretty much readily available (though still pretty highly priced!) and women don’t have to deal with people thinking that their vagina’s will destroy the world (well apart from that one dark corner of the internet)

tampons
Hooray for not having to have you’re period in pretty much any other era!!

3 thoughts on “The history of periods or how vagina’s can destroy the world

  1. Really funny article even though past attitudes to periods were horrifying. I don’t know if you are in the UK? – there is such period poverty that there are campaigns for sanitary products to be VAT-free, free in schools etc. I RTd a tweet this morning about girls having to miss school because unable to afford products. In 2017. Shocking.

    Anyway, thanks for this great post, I do enjoy this blog.

    Liked by 1 person

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